Oak Ridge Boys covering White Stripes' Seven Nation Army.

John Stamos, ruining a moment with the greatest American rock-and-roll band, the Beach Boys.

A couple of weeks ago, MODOK tried to pull a prank on his friend, Frank; a prank that did not turn in favor of MODOK.

Perhaps this story needs some background information. Among Frank's foibles is the irrational fear of clowns. One afternoon while searching for Batman Legos at a local toy store, MODOK found a Playmobile clown, complete with strap-on nose and hobo attire.

A few weeks ago at Frank's, MODOK slipped into the bathroom and left the clown between Frank's shower bottles, hoping that Frank would be terrified by finding a clown hiding in the shower while Frank was wet and naked.

It turns out that Frank's vision is not very good without his glasses and Frank did not see the clown for several days. When Frank did find it, he wasn't at all scared. In fact, Frank never said anything about the incident it until MODOK asked why Frank had not reacted.

MODOK, obviously, has become lapse in his psychological torture techniques. Perhaps MODOK needs to find the Burger King's secret to being both loved and despised at the same time...

MODOK tires of those who see religious figures in their food.

If your god was truly all powerful, wouldn't he or she present themselves as something more tasteful than a Cheeto?

What kind of person worries about what color their mattress is? Why are colors and patterns even available?

MODOK wishes the Aquaman in comic books was more like the Aquaman in the Brave and Bold cartoon.

He's like Brian Blessed from 1980s Flash Gordon movie film and much more enjoyable to watch.

MODOK has very little medical training but feels qualified to diagnose obesity.

You are better looking that 67% of comic book fans polled.



Enjoy your day.

MODOK hopes that Ricardo Montalban's final resting place is covered in soft, Corinthian leather.

Twice today MODOK has garnered paper cuts underneath MODOK's fingernails. Needless to say, MODOK is quite uncomfortable.

Furthermore, MODOK's continual typing with this injury has produced a blood soaked keyboard which must be destroyed at the end of MODOK's shift to destroy DNA and fingerprint evidence. However, MODOK is tempted to just swap keyboards with the staff member who repeatedly asks MODOK to purchase burritos, cookies and candy bars for her child's fund raisers.

Note to self: Investigate paper cut-torture routine.
Note to self 2: Interrogate office manager for location of "finger condoms."

MODOK was stood up on a date tonight. MODOK, of course, is feeling doleful.

When MODOK removed his laundry from the apartment's laundry facility this evening, MODOK was shocked to discover his laundry was still damp. The laundry was warm but still very moist. MODOK was forced to lay his dungarees and undershirts around the apartment to dry... Over the dining room tale, chairs and the futon, MODOK's apartment looked like it was filled with laundry ghosts.

MODOK was so upset, MODOK then accidentally poked a Q-tip too far into MODOK's ear while cleaning. Not too hard but hard enough to make MODOK wince. MODOK felt better when there wasn't any permanent damage or hearing loss.

One of MODOK's minions at the office received a flattering email from a person she had never met before. She thought the message was from a would-be stalker and told everyone in the office how the sender thought she was "stunning."

For the past week, she hasn't shut up about getting this email from her self proclaimed, "secret admirer" but no one has the heart to tell her it's from a spambot that pulled her address from our company website.

MODOK has just learned that legendary punk star, Mick Jones from the Clash:




Was also the front man for this:
Big Audio Dynamite- Rush

MODOK has emotions similar to the time he saw the godfather of gangsta rap, Ice Cube, in a sequel to "Are We There Yet?"

MODOK was nearly late for work this morning because MODOK's keys became lodged in the small "coin flap" on the inside of MODOK's khaki slacks.

The bundle of keys managed to wedge themselves into a configuration with in the small coin holder deep within the pocket (not to be confused with the pocket watch holder on denim trousers) and refused to be removed. Even those who solve Rubik's Cubes in 30-seconds would have trouble figuring this puzzle out.

MODOK had to pull the pocket complete out of his chinos to get a better look at the problem... Of course, MODOK did not want to rip the pocket but after several minutes of wrangling with the interior of MODOK's pants, the keys finally became dislodged.

Several other people walking to their cars witnessed MODOK's distress. A woman with her large refillable soda mug from the gas station even pointed. MODOK felt a fool.

With the success of the Iron Man movie-film, MODOK is campaigning to be the main antagonist in the announced sequel! Or at least make a cameo appearance... Things have been slow for MODOK lately and MODOK would love to leave accounting and transition into a career in film. Even a small reoccurring role or guest appearance on a show like "Big Bang Theory" could get things rolling...

MODOK would have liked to have the late Telly Savalas represent the Man-On-the-Golden-Throne. However, Josh Hartnet or Kevin Weisman would be acceptable.

MODOK decrees!

The "faux hawk" is the new mullet.

Tonight on Piano Jazz, Marian McPartland played the Allman Brother's balad, "Jessica."

That was a little weird. It's kind of like finding out that your Grandma smoked crack... She's not smoking crack now but more like finding out that she hung out with some shady dudes in the 50s.

Yesterday, MODOK did some laundry in the building's laundry room. A female resident had also done a couple loads ahead of MODOK and filled up both of the dryers. MODOK kept track of her remaining time and came back after her clothes should have been done. When MODOK returned, her garments were still in the dryers so MODOK waited for about 5 minutes but the tardy tenet never showed. MODOK went back to the apartment and piddled around and went back down to check every 20 minutes or so.

After 2 hours elapsed, MODOK had enough and was going to pull her clothes out and put them in a trash bag (there aren't any tables and MODOK didn't want to throw them on the floor) but both dryers had her underwear in it... MODOK felt a little weird about touching it so MODOK decided to just move the bottom dryer into the top dryer and double up MODOK's clothes into a single dryer (thus MODOK wouldn't have to touch as much strange underwear.) As MODOK was scooping her clothes out, MODOK saw a giant maxi-pad stuck to the inside of the dryer! MODOK nearly puked on her clothes!

MODOK should not be surprised that a woman who would leave her clothes in a dryer for a couple of hours would also be too lazy to take a liner out of her underwear before washing and drying it.

When MODOK came back down to get MODOK's clothes out of the dryer, her clothes were gone but she left the maxi-pad. BLACH!